Wisdom Wednesdays: Curves and Confidence

Good Morning Loves,

Although I know it is Thursday technically (I was soooo exhausted on yesterday after work), I wanted to introduce another segment on my blog called ‘Wisdom Wednesdays’ to share motivational and growth points that I’ve experienced or am experiencing to help those needing a little boost in their own lives. I definitely do not claim to know everything, as no one ever does know everything, nor do I profess to be a relationship counselor, love coach, motivational speaker, or any expert.  However, I do definitely own my truth and my process of becoming the best version of me every single day.  I also own my curves and have gone through the many tarrying emotions of self acceptance of being full figured in a world that didn’t always accept a woman with a wider waist circumference.

With that being said, today’s post is centered around truly being curvy and confident and the misconception that all plus-size women are easily attainable.  Sadly, there is a stigma that bigger women need constant gratification, attention, and are more willing to give in sexually because of lowered self-esteem and image issues.  Unfortunately, I have witnessed this and the stereotypes in many situations are true.  Due to a societal attack on plus-size women, some women have slipped into a depression feeling unlovable, unworthy, and unattractive.  I have even myself thought these things when I was younger due to dating men who constantly spoke about my weight and would state “Your face is sooo gorgeous if you could just lose 60 to 70 pounds, you would be much more beautiful”.  Of course a statement like that would pull at any young girl’s self-esteem.  You walk around feeling like you will NEVER find LOVE, NEVER be ACCEPTED, and NEVER get MARRIED, due to not being considered as desirable.

However, one thing my mother always instilled into me is that I was beautiful, intelligent, and made to be respected. She trained me up to be courted and to be hunted, not hunt and exploit myself continuously. Something that I think universally has disappeared in today’s world with our little girls who are now grown women. Sex has become so easily attainable, so devalued, and such a goal, that men do not know how to approach women appropriately any longer. Especially if you are plus-sized. The term BBW (which I hate with an intensity) has amounted to bigger women overly projecting their bodies sexually to compete with smaller framed women and helped create this stigma that plus women are easy and cling to attention. The BBW community is opposite of plus modeling, positive body image, and supporting women with curves. The BBW community is more so about sexual exploitation and exploration  to be lusted for (I speak from my own observation).  For that reason alone, I have completely divorced the word and get utterly irritated when anyone calls or labels me as a “BBW”, I’d rather just be called fat to be honest. Also, Let me SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT; ALL PLUS WOMEN ARE NOT EASY, NEED ATTENTION, OR DESIRE SEX. If I got paid for every dick pick I received throughout the year in my DM’s, my student loans would be paid off.  It’s actually sad because quite frankly it speaks to the reality of the plus size community and what is readily accepted.  Men wouldn’t pursue women this way if it wasn’t working somewhere.

I have by no means been perfect in my dating life. However, I’ve never been easy or allowed myself to fall for a man based off the girth of his anatomy.  I have never ever been a one night stand, a sex toy, or even opened my legs for a man that didn’t ‘pursue’ me properly in the beginning.  I have always been the curvy girl with self-worth, regardless of a few hiccups here and there. I have always felt absolutely complete all alone because my mom raised me to feel like my shit was decorated with diamonds, glitter, and fun-fetti. So when a man hits my inbox with an overly sexual attempt, it turns me off. On occasion, I have entertained it for giggles and to really explore intentions once I put the gentlemen on notice that this is not okay….however if women would stop letting it be ‘okay’, men would change their approach.  I can’t even blame the men if the thirst trap is working on the plus community because of self-image issues or a desperation of some women to feel ‘wanted’. So many plus women portray this aura of confidence publicly, but behind closed doors, are desperately seeking attention on a daily basis. This needs to change ASAP.

Ladies, I want you to know that you are worthy of love no matter how wide your waist is, no matter the number in your jeans, and the rolls on your body.  You are a woman immaculately created by God; You are God’s creation to serve a man that sees you as God’s masterpiece. You are not something that should be easily accessible by any man that wants to penetrate you. Your sex is not a bartering tool to receive affection. Your mind, spirit, skill-set, dreams, love of God, and beauty are the qualities that should be sought after. No man not willing to know the essence of who you are deserves the opportunity to ‘know’ you in any way.  Sex was created to be enjoyable for the man who pursues you and seeks you for more than fun and thrills or a sick fetish.  This is not to say that I have never been in a place of confusion on how to receive love, but when you truly become curvy and confident, there is no room for anyone pursuing you less than authentically. When you walk in your truth, accepting every imperfect nook and cranie, you do not settle for just any man’s attention. Words don’t move you nor do photo likes, comments, and giving you pet names. None of the aforementioned will impress you. You look for actions. Authentic actions that demonstrate that he wants more from you than ‘thigh pie’.

I want 2017 to be about confidence and displaying confidence to men in a constructive way. Flirt, text, do whatever you want, but most importantly make him WORK FOR YOU. If he doesn’t want to work to have you, then he isn’t worth receiving sex from you. You don’t owe it to any man to give in without being treated well. That doesn’t mean be unreasonable but please stop falling for DM’s and Eggplant displays because it truly makes it hard for women who really are not false advertising their confidence.  It becomes utterly exhausting to be pursued the same way over and over because someone in the BBW community gave in to this premature attempt to satisfy a males carnal need for sex. Let’s do better beloved.

Love Always,





Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year All,

So how happy were you to get rid of 2016???? I know I was ecstatic to move forward with a fresh year to succeed in. This year the blog, my personal life, and my goals will take a huge upswing.  One thing that I am really big on is health… Although last year, I slacked off. This year it is more about training my body for my hormones to work for me and not against me. PCOS really is about lifestyle modification, although sometimes I just want to eat anything I want and not gain a pound. However, that is not realistic. What really triggered my  need for change is this week I ate out almost every day but then late on Friday night, my chest began to pain.

It was the first time I actually felt like I may be having heart trouble. I am good at keeping in tune with my physical checkups and making sure I am okay, but this alarmed me. I knew then that I had to really stop playing around and make a change. So this year on the blog, things will be centered on my health journey and of course fashion. However, it will mainly be a digital diary of my health journey for all PCOS sufferers and those with other endocrine issues alike. I will also post some more of my philosophical thoughts as well.  I think that one thing that I don’t do enough is share my wisdom and growth with others. I am by no means perfect, but I love helping people, especially women become the vessels God intended on us becoming. So definitely look forward to some of those posts as well.

For now, I am starting Whole 30 body detoxification and will keep all of you posted on some of the recipes I attempt and post them so that if you are interested, you can try them out.  I look forward to another great year with you lovelies!!!!




UnWrap Me: Lingerie Part II

Good Afternoon Loves,

As promised, I bring to you my second segment for plus size sex appeal with Lashesnlace.com.  Below are some of my favorite selections to keep things spicy during these cool months!!!! I hope You Enjoy:

Truth $49.95
Alexia $54.95
Love Of My Life $42.95
Rita $62.95
Niecy $56.95
Taylor $64.95
Cassie $47.95
Sherry $46.95
Athena $69.95
Loreene $49.95
Seonna $43.95
Claudia $65.95
Nariah $44.95
Dulcie $29.95

Winter Chap Attack: Top Lip balms to beat the winter

Good Morning Loves,

So it is officially winter (I actually wiped snow dust from my car this morning) and you know what that means; CHAPPED LIPS! You guessed it! With me having full lips, its even harder at times because I feel like my lips are always more susceptible to drying out. However, after research, I share below with you the top 10 lip balms that will get you through this dry season:

Crafted from mostly plant-based ingredients (shea butter! essential oils! argan and jojoba!), the Love + Sage lip balms are super softening for lips and don't contain any synthetic toxins or fragrances.$12; loveandsagenyc.com.
Minty Salve by $12.00 loveandsagenyc.com
This beloved Philosophy lip quencher can also double as an overnight mask, since it's meant to repair lip wrinkles, intense splitting situations (ouch), and dryness. It's subtly scented, too, so you'll go to bed happy. Kiss Me Tonight Intense Lip Therapy, $21; philosophy.com.
Kiss Me Tongiht by Philosophy at $21.00 sephora.com




Go on vacay year-round with this coconut-scented lip balm. The natural product relies on coconut oil instead of petroleum to deliver the moisturizing magic that *only* coconut oil can. Yes to Coconuts Naturally Smooth Lip Balm, $3; target.com.
Yesto Coconut Lip balm at $3.00 target.com
Because I am addicted to lip-dessicating red lipstick, I have tried virtually every balm imaginable—and this is the only one that really delivers (meaning: it's not too slimy, it doesn't smell of menthol or fruit, and it works equally well as a lipstick primer or smoothing topper). Enriched with rose oil, vitamins, and shea butter, it moisturizes like nothing else I've ever tried. And yes, it costs $30. But hey, it's pink, it comes in a chic white container, it provides SPF 10, and it smells like rose heaven. As indulgences go, completely worth it. — April Long, Executive Beauty EditorDior Crème De Rose Soothing Plumping Lip Balm, $30; sephora.com
Dior Creme De Rose Soothing Plumping Lip balm $30.00 at sephora.com
We like the unconventional shape of EOS' spherical lip balms because they're much easier to locate in a bottomless hand bag. The Kardashian beauty favorite boasts an organic blend of antioxidants and pampering shea butter and oils, too, for a spa-worthy lip treatment. EOS Smooth Sphere Lip Balm, $3; amazon.com.
EOS available at your local drugstore or grocery store $3.00
When lips need a major rescue effort, swipe on Superbalm for immediate hydration and healing. Superbalm Lip Treatment, $16.50, Clinique
Clinique Superbalm $16.50 at sephora.com, ulta.com, and department stores
Beyoncé loves using Smith's retro rosebud salve to prime her lashes, and it's the multi-purpose appeal  of the balm that makes it a celebrity and makeup artist favorite. Use the subtly tinted salve to keep stray eyebrows in place or use as a moisturizing blush for some extra glow. Smith's Rosebud Salve, $6; sephora.com.
Rosebud Salve $6.00 at Sephora.com
Yes this stuff smells vaguely medicinal; yes its color scheme is somewhat cafeteria-linoleum-theme; yes its overall look is more suited to granny's pocketbook than chic tote. I don't care. This stuff is a miracle balm. It's the best defense against the polar vortex and the best salve for the summer sun. — Chloe Schama, ELLE.com Executive EditorBlistex Mediucated Conditioning SPF 20 Daily Lip Treatment, $2; bedbathandbeyond.com
Blistex Medicated Daily Lip Treatment $2.00 at select drugstores
This may be the grandma of all lip balms. It doesn't have a cute or clever name, or esthetically pleasing packaging, but it has been a staple since day one, as I was reminded by my mother. She used to use it as a diaper ointment or for any skin issue I had as a child; it's both mild and effective. I have made the mistake of buying Aquaphor's "lip repair" which for whatever reason doesn't quite cut it. Aside from the tub that I keep next to my bed, I think I have one of these guys in every other coat pocket and bag I own. — Mariel Tyler, ELLE.com Photo EditorEucerin Aquaphor Advanced Therapy Healing Ointment, $5; amazon.com
Aquaphor Healing Ointment $5.00 at target.com


December’s Challenge: Meatless Sundays

Good Evening Loves,

So continuing into my new tradition of doing monthly challenges, this month is all about limiting meat consumption. With my pcos, I am required to eat a high protein diet but I am constantly on a search for meatless alternatives to achieve optimal health. This month, I wanted to incorporate doing meatless meals. The only exception I will allow is eggs or egg whites on your Meatless day. I hope you guys are enjoying these challenges as much as I am. 

Love Always,


Shea Shea Bakery Update

Good Morning Loves,

So I am following up on my post exactly a month ago regarding my skincare trial using Shea Shea Bakery’s skincare kit. My review is I love the charcoal mask and the scar healing oil. The acne mist didn’t really do anything for me and the liquid black soap was a wee bit messy, though the scent was amazing. On my next order, I definitely know that I will be ordering a bar soap instead and

Happy Thanksgiving Loves

Good Afternoon All,

Happy Thanksgiving!!!! Today brings mixed feelings for me as I spend my third year alone for this holiday (without my family) but the difference this year is it is the first time I am content with it, because I am sooo thankful for what God is doing in my life. The past two years have been monumental years filled with transformations and life lessons. This Thanksgiving I am blessed and thankful for the new friends, my new job, modeling opportunities, my moms prestine health after her surgery, my sorority sisters, peace, and being single. I know that last one seems odd but from 27-29, I truly fretted about being without a man, baby, my life purpose….but now God has truly brought me to a place of extreme self acceptance and peace. It is always important to be intune with who you are  at all times.

So with that, I hope everyone is having a joyoua and blessed day!
With Love,


UnWrap Me Under The Tree Part 1: Lingerie Edition with Torrid

Good Morning Lovelies!!!!

So this month has been rough as I have been battling extreme fatigue so I haven’t been posting regularly because I have been exhausted beyond belief (that post will come later this week). However, today is all about curvy girls lingerie for play with Torrid. With it being cold outside, may as well heat it up indoors with your significant other. Here are my top choices for this cuddle season :). Click the links below each picture to get full purchase details!

Strappy Lace & Mesh Chemise

Strappy Mesh Lace Long Line Bralette & High Waist Panty

Lace & Mesh Long Line Bralette

Plaid Crop Lace Bralette & Hipster Panty

Strappy Lace Bralette

Strappy Lace Long Line Bra and Half Slip

Satin Robe

Microfiber Lace & Fishnet Chemise

Lace & Mesh Strappy Halter Bralette

Mesh & Lace Halter Bralette

Torrid Trim Lace Bralette




Crush on Me Velvet

Good Afternoon Loves!!!

So Holiday Party Season is around the corner and time to glam up that evening wear. Well, what better fabric to do that in than velvet (my personal holiday favorite). Below is me pictured in a floor length velvet gown from Eloquii.com that made its debut in 2014.


However, do not fret loves…below are some of my top velvet pieces for this holiday season. Enjoy!!!!

Aries Dress found on $98.00 on Rue107.com
Asos Premium Wrap Top $73.00 on asos.com
Asos Elba Wide Fit Bootie $58.00 at asos.com
$181.00 for the Red Carpet Collection at asos.com
Blair Skirt and Top $58.00 each on Rue107.com
Boohoo Velvet Bootie $62.00 at asos.com
Asos Batwing Crushed Velvet Dress $55.00
Club L Velvet Dress $52.00 asos.com
Club L Plus Wrap Front Velvet Mini Dress $46.00 asos.com
Elvie Velvet Trench $164.00 at asos.com
Missguided Wraped Heel $60.00 on asos.com
One Day Plus Velvet Funnel Neck Knit $46.00 asos.com
ASOS CURVE Premium Velvet Contrast Midi Dress With Kimono Sleeve $83.00 asos.com
Missguided Tieback Block Heel $68.00
Studio Velvet Cropped Pants $89.90 eloquii.com
Studio Velvet Capelet Jacket $129.90 at eloquii.com

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