Good Morning Lovelies,
So in the world of my dating chronicles…..I have run across the question many times of whether or not running background checks on people you are just meeting or dating is appropriate or not. In a world where information is more easily accessible than ever before, is it a true violation of someone’s rights to run a background check before proceeding forward in dating and then entering a relationship? For a long time, I would say “ohh no that is too much, because when you go looking for it, you will find the worst of everything”, however, that was the pre-tainted, overly optimistic, hopeless romantic self talking.
After a series of men playing “catfish” (whether it be in appearance or lifestyle), secretly married, recently become fathers (but lying about having kids), ex-cons, and hearing stories of the STD infested, I feel like performing background checks may not be a bad idea at all. Now, of course, I’m not suggesting be insane with it and run a background check after the first three dates. However, I do think in this generation of fraud, that protecting and preserving your sanity, physical health, and emotions are absolutely necessary. Nothing hurts worse than falling in love with someone who has been hiding a major secret that may have altered the course of your relationship had you known the truth otherwise.
Some may argue that well if you love that man or woman, than it doesn’t matter when the truth comes out, because you should love them through it. I beg to differ, because if someone is married, it’s pretty difficult to sustain a healthy relationship that can’t advance unless a divorce occurs. It is also extremely hard to get over someone being charged for domestic violence, a classified pedophile, attempted murder, or theft. Additionally, no one wants incurable STDs thinking that their partner is committed solely to them, or is hiding their true health status from you. So now the questions are; how deep should you dig into someone’s life, and should you do it with or without consent? Well, I say there should be two phases:
Phase 1: Once you two decide to exclusively date there should be the “Is she or he really single, with a clean criminal record” check.. at this phase, this can be done without consent, as it is public information most of the time, or can be obtained very easily if you are an unofficial CIA agent, like myself.
Phase 2: Now that you’re considering the actual relationship and moving into something serious is the “Let’s triple check his or her health record, mental health,finances, and recheck the criminal record”. Why is the financial record important? Well, you have to be sure that the person you’re with doesn’t have habitual irresponsibility issues because I definitely relate that to being inconsistent with other areas of life, which eventually leads to problems later down the road.
Yes, running background checks may seem like its taking the fun out of dating, but when you have dealt with a multiple individuals that are literally altering reality, its no fun in dealing with the aftermath. I always suggest protecting yourself first, then having fun. Of course, everything I share is a matter of opinion only but its definitely to me a good practice to start.
With Love,
LoLo
