Good Morning Loves,
This weeks Wisdom Wednesday Moment is entitled: Take Care Of You First. One thing that I have learned throughout my years is that you cannot be an asset to someone if you do not have yourself in order. I know that I have been guilty of wanting to help out everyone out of the kindness of my heart, but if YOU aren’t together…you become more of a liability than a asset. You truly become stripped of resources and are left feeling emptier than ever before.
It is imperative that you get your life together first, male and female alike. This may piss people off, you may lose a friend, but in the end….when you are put together, you then are in a better position to be more charitable to those around you. It is okay to have selfish periods in your life, not to hurt others, but to heal and rebuild who you are. Many people in my life have accused me of being detached or not as available, but really it is because for years I gave my all to everyone around me ALL THE TIME. So much so, I was left without, struggling, and trying to figure out how to maintain myself. It lead to unhealthy emotional distress, and just physical exhaustion. I also was left feeling overall taken advantage of. It never feels too hot to be taken advantage of.
One of my courses of action was to seek professional guidance in a therapist to try and regain my strength to love on ‘me’ again without feeling guilty or obligated to tend to everyone else before myself. I highly recommend therapy (even though it is shunned by many) because it truly does assist in helping you sort out and pinpoint areas of improvement and zones of error. I also suggest that your therapist be of a religious faith so that their first suggestion isn’t some form of medication but rather prayer and empathy. 2015 was such a monumental shift in my way of thinking and believing in what it meant to self-love in the form of taken care of my responsibility to myself in order to fully love and assist everyone around me. I had to get to the realization that no matter how much of myself I give; some people will just not like you. Some people will never give back in return what you give to them, and that is okay. Most importantly, I learned that you cannot give from an empty space physically, spiritually, or emotionally if you do not have it all together. In order to be strong for others in your life, you have to have the strength to endure others issues.
Starting 2017, I can honestly say that I have taken that time for self and am in a much better place understanding that it’s not mean to put yourself first at times. Sometimes the word “no” is needed and the more you can use it when it is appropriate the better off you feel because you aren’t taking on more than you can bear. Those who get angry for loving yourself first and building your worth, kingdom, finances up….truly do not need to hold priority in your circle. Those that love you, always make an attempt to understand and support your well-being. So in closing, make sure you learn to take the time to put yourself as a priority to be a before you commit too much of yourself to those around you.